incapacitated monkey, which usually necessitates wearing jeans hanging down to
your knees… this may look ALMOST ok on TALL broad-shouldered black boys BUT
GET THIS – you’re Bengali and a dwarf.
2. Sporting a beard, praying 5 times a day and avoiding “Khafir’s” while you claim
benefits does NOT make a worthy person. You’re a “Daily Mail” subject matter.
3. Fathering a child in your early twenties while your wife pretends to be a SINGLE MUM (in order to grab a council house and claim housing benefits) is NOT “settling down” – it means - GET THIS - you’re a LOSER.
4. if you’re a professional with a few letters after your name – that DOES NOT ENTITLE
you to think you resemble John Abraham, Brad Pitt or Wentworth Miller.
5. if you’re taller than 5 foot 7 that does NOT equate to being TALL. (Please stand
beside a non-Bengali if you don’t believe me.)
6. if you’re taller than 5 foot 9 that does NOT equate to being 6 foot.
7. Street Boys (again) - saying “All&h-douh’wai amar maar-khos’um” and “Wal’laahee”
after every sentence does not convince me you’re telling the truth. Particularly
when you follow this religious dialogue with profanities or speaking about your next
drug heist
7. I’m sorry guys, but let me break this to you gently…. DRIVING a BMW does NOT
make YOU a BIG MAN …. or a “Gangstaa blud”
8. Driving with your seat back (and only the top of your head showing above the
dash board) – looks STUPID not MANLY.
9. Having your name on the Title Deed of 5 houses (situated in East London) does
NOT equate to wealth…. Dude let me let you in on a secret… YOU’RE IN DEBT.
10. Working class Bengali Boys – having children “young” so that you can avoid
being an “old dad” won’t be appreciated by your offspring if it means:
a. you’re not financially or emotionally ready to be a dad
b. not mature enough, and
c. use their child benefit money to pay for your Sky subscription or fags –(TRY and save it. Please.)
being an “old dad” won’t be appreciated by your offspring if it means:
a. you’re not financially or emotionally ready to be a dad
b. not mature enough, and
c. use their child benefit money to pay for your Sky subscription or fags –(TRY and save it. Please.)
11. Bragging is a PUT OFF.
12. Wearing designer labels does not make you CLASSY
13. Wearing SUPERDRY does not make you TRENDY
17. Going on holiday 2 times a year does NOT give you “world traveller” status
14. Just because you can name a few musicals, have watched a few black and
white French movies, and know who Chaucer, Alexander Pope, EM Foster, Oscar
Wilde, George Orwell, Charles Dickens or Jane Austen etc is… does NOT make thee
cultured…
15. Randomly quoting Aquinas, Descartes, Aristotle, Chomsky or Hume won’t make
you sound intelligent…
16. Telling a girl that you “might consider marrying her” (as though bestowing a
huge honour) is the biggest JOKE to date.
17. Marrying a virgin won’t hide the fact you’ve got a small…. And your performance
is cr*ap… Coz even virgins can measure up without using a comparison…
18. Lastly, at the enormous risk of causing offence… telling your girlfriend to wear
a hijab and cover up (now that she’s dating you) is like me asking you to acquire a
brain…
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